Animals
by Sotto
Summary: The 4077's members' experiences with animals. I will be changing the title if I can get a new one... It sucks, I know.
1. Trapper and BlackJack

"_Temperature's 101, doctor."_

"_Dammit."_

_Trapper sighed angrily, glaring at the patient. Just yesterday, Corporal Stroker'd been fine… Eating, joking and even playing poker, but today it had taken a turn for the worse. At the moment, he was unconscious do to sedatives they had been giving him. Trapper couldn't make sense of him. One minute the kid was fine, the next he had a fever of 105 and was having a romantic evening with thin air. The doctor chewed on the cap of his pen, and slowly drifted off into a day dream (or shall I say "night dream", considering it was about two in the morning)._

_The patient stopped breathing._

_Trapper bolted to his feet. "Kellye! Give me some adrenaline!"_

_He rushed to the patient. "Common, dammit… You're not gonna die on my watch."_

> > >

"Ha! I told you I could stay on him!" Leslie smiled smugly. "And you say you're the best rider in the family."

John McIntyre stuck his tongue out at his younger sister. "Well, he's going easy on you."

"Naw… I'm just talented." The six-year old girl winked for good measure, thoroughly enjoying her brother humiliation. "Bwacky-Jacky just likes me better."

"You keep calling him that, and we'll see who he likes better."

"Bwacky-Jacky, Bwacky-Jacky Bwacky-Jacky!"

John looked expectantly for the horse's buck. "Traitor." He hissed so softly that his sister, who was still gloating wouldn't hear.

"-You can't even stay on him, and here I am… A little, innocent GIRL, and he's acting as placid as a foal!"

"You? Innocent? You were BORN a mass murderer!"

"I was not!" The superior smirk was wiped off Leslie's face and replaced by a pout.

"Tell that to that little mouse!"

"I FOUND HIM DEAD!" The pig-tailed girl banged her fist down in anger onto the horse's neck. John cackled in glee as Black-Jack, which was the colt's proper name, exploded into a series of bucks.

"Nice to see you back on the good side." He whispered to the horse, who was still bucking though Leslie was getting up off the ground.

"At least I stayed on longer than you ever could." The little girl attempted to regain some of her pride.

"That's it." John glared at his sister. "I'm gonna get on him and stay in that saddle! I swear! Nothing'll get me out of it!"

Leslie sniggered. "Will you leave me your comic books in your will?"

A glare silenced her.

The boy approached the horse, who had now moved on from bucking to grazing. In one fluid motion, he swung on. Black-Jack attempted to get him off with a vengeance. He bucked and reared and twisted, but John stayed as cool as a cucumber. Leslie looked with growing admiration to her brother, who seemed to not even notice the horse's antics.

In the middle of one particularly vicious buck, the girth snapped. The saddle flew through the air, still between John's knees. The boy landed with a sickening thud, feet still in the stirrups. He looked up with a dazed grin and whooped in pleasure.

"I did it! I stayed in the saddle! I showed you!"

> > >

_Corporal Dan Stroker did make it through Trapper's shift. He didn't through Hawkeye's, though. This time, Trapper didn't smile. He didn't gloat. He wasn't proud. Sure, he did it… He got the kid through his shift. He kept his word._

_Somehow, it didn't matter, anymore._

> > >

**AN: This is Sotto. Right now I've got writer's block on 101, so I'll be trying this out. This is a collection one shots about the character's childhood experience with animals. In each one, there'll be some sort of a connection between the memory and the reality… All of these stories are true and about someone in my family. I do realize that the show, book and movie make no mention of Trapper have a sister, but they never say he's an only child, eh? Eh? Eh? (Winks and nudges) Also, I do realize that since Trapper's from Boston, it's unlikely that he ever had a horse, but it's not impossible, eh? Eh? Eh? (More winks and nudges)**

**Please review!**


	2. Margaret and Horace

**AN: Time warp! This one takes place during Margaret's marriage!**

> > >

"_Major! Major! You're husband is here!"_

> > >

"Mommy! What's his name?" The little girl giggled as a fluffy white cat swatted at her.

"It's Horace, dear."

"Horace?" Margaret scrunched up her nose. "That's an icky name!"

"It's noble." Her father added in.

"Yes, sir. I wasn't thinking about it in terms of noblty."

"It's nobility."

"Yes, sir. Nobility."

Margaret continued playing with Horace. What she didn't know was that at night things would take a turn for the worse…

> > >

"Mommy! Horace's friends won't let me sleep." The-girl-who-would-be-Major sniffed.

It seemed as if every cat in the neighborhood had lined up on the windowsill, eager to get a glimpse of the new cat.

"Just ignore them, dear."

"You've gotta get used to them now. When you grow up to be a nurse in the army, whenever there's a war you'll have to sleep through the bombs being dropped. Think of the cats as training."

"Yes, sir!" Margaret skipped back to her bedroom for sleep.

> > >

After they had owned him for a while, Horace got pregnant! Margaret would giggle in delight as his, or shall I say her, stomach swayed back and forth while her parents angrily phoned the pound, demanding to know why they were told their cat was a male!

"Mommy! Which cat is gonna be the father?"

"I don't know, dear. Probably that black one. He's the only one we let play with Horace."

"Why doesn't Horace live with him, if he's her husband?"

"It doesn't work that way, dear."

"Howitzer Al" explained it. "With cats, the male only likes the female for one thing. As soon as he's got that one thing, both the cats go on with their lives. They don't feel love for one another. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir. I understand." She didn't.

> > >

The next day, Margaret was outside playing with Horace. When she looked up, she noticed the black cat was walking by.

"Horace! Horace! Your husband is here!"

Horace looked up at her quizzically.

"Common, Horace! It's your husband!"

Neither Horace nor the black cat cared. Margaret understood what her father meant after that.

> > >

"_Major! Major! Your husband is here!" Radar called as he ran up to her in the compound._

"_Where?"_

"_VIP tent, sir-I mean ma'am."_

_Margaret strolled off to the tent leisurely, all the while wondering whether Donald Penobscott had gotten that "one thing"._

**AN: Before anyone hurts me about the fact that the family would probably know that Horace was a girl, let me remind you that this is a true story… Actually, it's about my half-uncle and HIS cat, Horace:) If anyone wonders why I'm writing sad things, well… I just watched, "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest", which is a great movie, but very sad. Well… Not sad… Bittersweet…**

**Anyways, I was in tears at the end and I've taken my angstiness out in fanfics. **

**To my lovely reviewers:**

**Kooshball: If you think this is depressing, wait for Hawk's chapter… That one I think is gonna be almost overly depressing! I know that in the book doesn't say anything, though, the book says that Hawkeye has six brothers, so… :) I'm pretty sure the movie and show don't say anything about Trapper having siblings… There probably is something in "MASH Goes To Maine", considering the fact Trapper gets married, but I haven't read it.**

**Highmaintenance: I'll hold you for that bet! I have great ideas for 101… I just can't write them down. Don't worry, though! As soon as this writers block passes I'll probably put up sixteen chapters for it!**

**Hawk's Soul: I thought I was a bit off the mark with Trapper… I thought I almost did his character as a later Hawkeye… You know… all angst-ified and angry at the world. But then again, I was shooting for angsty, so maybe I was on the mark! And thank you for boosting my ego:)**

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed! And please excuse the suckiness of this chapter...**


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